Exclusive: Kareena Kapoor Khan on completing 20 years in showbiz

Star power she had in spades even when I first met her. From Studio NO. 4 to Studio NO. 6 in Filmistan, she saw to it that she was dropped in her car. She wasn’t even a star then but had all the makings. She was just Karisma Kapoor’s little sister waiting in the wings. I watched the rise and rise of Kareena Kapoor Khan in the last twenty years. She completed two decades in June. Besides her acting chops and alabaster skin what made her stay is that unique connect. She just connects. Everyone will tell you that. Everyone has a Bebo story. Most would be funny and diverting. She has the air of those content with life and watching it pass by. Be it as the star attraction for a fashion designer, or a judge on a reality show or in between takes—she’s a chiller. Tension nahi leneka she says. Years ago, she was like a bull in a china shop. Cocking a snook at co-stars, grabbing the best projects in the business, flaunting a killer attitude. She still has all that. But there is restraint, a theraav. The same restraint you see in an Omkara, Asoka, Dev, Chameli or even her debut Refugee. She’s also all super star aura be it K3G or her latest Veere Di Wedding and Good Newwz. She’s to the manner born. I suspect she’s going to be here for a long long time and give full play to her talent and metier. I don’t know if it’s Saif Ali Khan’s laid back style that’s rubbed off on her but she glows. In the warmth of love and a deep sense of self security. It’s not put on. She’s become more self-aware and guarded when she talks. Gone is the derring-do which I admit I miss a lot. She’s still fun and like I mentioned earlier everyone now has a Mrs Khan story to tell. Life with Taimur seems a lot like a fairy tale. And she plays the part perfectly. Just like those story-book princesses who will gather the folds of their gown and traipse into the darkness. So I quiz her about life and times, twenty years of showbiz and certain other assorted queries. We have teething troubles fixing our Skype call. Then we are on track. And I ask:

What have you learnt from the lockdown?
That one has to take each day as it comes. Life’s so unpredictable and fragile. We need to keep our loved ones close. The only thing keeping me sane is that I can spend time with Saif and my son. You learn to value the people you care about. When you’re shooting and have so much going on in your life, you tend to take them for granted.

Is this the longest you’ve been with Saif and Taimur at a stretch?
We’ve always wanted to take time out and travel together, be together. But it has been more than 90 days now. I’m loving it. I’ve lost count of the days. The fear is that we’ve all got used to just chilling and cooking and being
at home.

You’ve completed two decades in showbiz. What do you recollect about your first film Refugee?
We shot the entire film in Bhuj in Gujarat. Abhishek (Bachchan) and I were ready for it. It was something that I wanted to do since childhood. Even though there was a phase where I wanted to be a lawyer. But after looking at those books, I got unnerved. I remember telling you that I want to be an actor. It’s not like I’ve chased stardom. I’ve always chased the idea of being known as a star actor. Coming back to Refugee, I couldn’t have asked for a better launch with J.P Dutta, Abhishek and the entire team. I was waiting to burst in front of the camera. That excitement to learn your lines, that fire was always there. Considering that Lolo (Karisma Kapoor) was a big star and coming from the family I belong to, I had to prove myself. Through the years, there have been super highs and also some disastrous lows.

How did you deal with the highs and the lows?
I wear my highs and lows equally with my collars up. Success or failure, I am what I am because of those films. There was a patch when every possible film flopped. I began wondering why it was happening. Post that I didn’t do anything for one year. I even turned down films like Race, the one that Saif was in. I didn’t want to do anything that I’d already done. It was after Imtiaz (Ali) called me (for Jab We Met) that everything fell into place. That one year changed my perspective. I didn’t want to do run-of-the mill stuff that was not working for me at that time. I’ve worked with the biggest of directors and those films didn’t work out the way I’d expected. Whenever I worked with a new director or probably a ‘lesser name’, it has taken me forward. Whether it was Chameli, Jab We Met or Omkara. The slightly alternate path worked for me. But every film is close to my heart. Even Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon. I love it. Even though the highs have been highs and the lows have been extremely low, I’ve enjoyed every minute of those 20 years.

What would be your milestones, if you had to split the two decades in three phases.
The first phase would be of Refugee, where it all started. Things went down later. But Chameli, Dev, Omkara, Jab We Met… were significant films. After marriage, there were films like Bajrangi Bhaijaan, Ki & Ka, Veere Di Wedding and Good Newwz. The films were topical and relevant. It was about turning things around on its head. For an all-girls film like Veere Di Wedding to earn 12 crores in a day was unheard of.

There’s a noticeable theraav in you…
In a journey of 20 years, if you’ve not matured as a person and as an artiste, you’ve not learnt anything. I started at the age of 17. Ek alag si energy hoti hai at that time. You’re like listen I can do anything. But, today I’m 40 and I’m like… I can’t. I’m in Zen mode. I just want to do my work. Even if I do one film at a time, I’ll give my best to that. But at 17, you want to be in every film and just kill it. The fire is still there but the flames were a lot higher at that time.


So what would a 40-year-old Kareena tell a 25-year-old Kareena?
Nothing in life is worth more than mental peace. If it’s meant to work out, it will. If not, then you just have to let it go. Sometimes, it’s hard to let things go. But success and failure, it’s all transient. The hunger is still there for better work. So yeah, follow your dreams. But it shouldn’t be an obsession. Having said that, yahan woh bhook kabhi mitti nahi hai. Actors have that alag kind of appetite. You just want to be at it, which is great. But sometimes you have to be like, ‘No, this is it’. I learnt this when my films weren’t working while films I feared wouldn’t work, went on to becomes successful. I realised I should just do my work and not take everything so seriously. During the last 10 years, I’ve changed a lot. I look at life differently than I did before.

Please elaborate…
The ‘Phase 2’ began at the time when Jab We Met released and I met Saif. I fell in love at the same time when I got super success. It was a catch-22 situation. I could have focussed on my career. My friends would say, ‘You’re stupid not wanting to do this film’ or ‘You’re always saying no’. But that’s me. I’ve always been a sucker for love.

And then you chose to get married…
Yeah, in 2008 at the peak of my career, no one would think of it. But
I wanted it. I chased love more. It has given me peace and opened doors in my mind. That also happens when you’ve met the right person.

Were you edgy and anxious as a wife in the first few years of marriage?
I wasn’t edgy or anxious. But it’s a new journey. I started living in with Saif before I got married not because I wanted to experiment or test. It was because we weren’t getting much time to spend with each other as we were shooting continuously. After that, it was a natural transition. He asked me to marry him and that was it. Everyone was like, ‘Shaadi mat karna, career khatam ho jayega’. I said, ‘Career hi khatam ho jayega na? Jaan toh nahi chali jayegi na?’. I love this man. If living with him means that producers don’t want to work with me, so be it. Of course, after that I’ve done some good films. Saif has also been extremely encouraging. I only get edgy when we don’t see each other for a long time.

Does that happen often?
There have been such occasions. Saif is mad, he gets into these characters. He’s an extremely passionate actor. He did Laal Kaptaan, which took him four months around Rajasthan. I did not see him for 50-60 days as
I was working here. Taimur was just one-and-a-half years old then. I couldn’t go to these strange places. That’s what gets difficult between two actors.

Were you a difficult girlfriend and an easy wife or the other way around?
Generally, I believe girlfriends are more difficult than wives. Girlfriends are insecure. You’re constantly thinking what’s happening? Is he talking to his heroine? Saif’s a great husband and an extremely good father. When I met Saif, he was calmer with himself. The timing was right. We’re a decade apart, yet he thinks way ahead of me.

What qualities of his have rubbed off on you and vice versa?
He’s one of our most outstanding actors. But Saif is not the kind to chase success. If he wants to do a film like Laal Kaptaan, he’ll do
it. He’s not in the rat race. He’s like I’m an actor and I want to stick by that belief. I love that about Saif. I also love that he can switch off and talk about something else. He can watch a crime thriller called Miss Marple, which I guess no one would watch apart from us two. It’s about a 60-year-old female sleuth. We have these commonalities, which we find solace in. That’s what we’ve learnt from each other. To find solace in the smaller things. He’s happy being home right now. He’s like we need to stay in isolation because we need to help others. We have to stay positive about it. We can’t moan about it. People are like ‘2020 is gone’. He says it’s okay na. It’s just a matter of a year. He’s so calm and that has rubbed off on me also. He’s also grown more emotional and empathetic. He shows it in different ways. Like, if I’m upset about something I read or heard, I’ll just cry. Usually, he won’t show it. But now his emotional quotient has increased by 50 per cent.

Tell us about you both as parents.
I’m over protective. I’m also a first-time mother. This journey is teaching me something new each day. My mother (Babita Kapoor) once said there’s no crown for the best mother in the world. No one even knows who the best mother in the world is. Mom tells me, ‘Duniya bolti rahegi. Tum karo jo tum karna chahti ho. You’ll learn that way’. Taimur is also teaching me the kind of mother he wants me to be. He brings out the best in me and also the worst. Because even I lose patience sometimes.

When does that happen?
He’s three-and-a-half years old now. He’s kind of understanding his likes and dislikes. He says things like, ‘I don’t want to eat this. I don’t want to eat that.’ I end up losing my patience. I tell him, ‘You have to eat your paratha. There’s no option now’. It’s a bit of a task. But in the end, we battle it out together.

Is Saif cool about his eating habits?
Saif gets frazzled. He’s like, ‘I cannot take this dinner time stress’. Taimur keeps saying, ‘I don’t want to eat this’. The food remains in his mouth for 25 minutes. So Saif prefers to be in the other room because there’s this whole mother-son tension going on at the dinner table. But, Saif’s more relaxed now as a parent. He’s been there. He knows what it’s like. He’s an amazing father to all his three children. He loves them deeply. That’s the best part about him. Like he’ll look at Taimur and say, ‘Taimur’s eyes are also like Sara’s’. In fact, all three of them (including Ibrahim) have Pataudi eyes. That’s beautiful. Somewhere they have this connection, which is amazing. When you see Sara’s childhood pictures, she looks so much like Tim.

Is Taimur like them in temperament?
From what I’ve heard, Ibrahim was a peaceful child. If you gave him potato chips, he’d be quiet. I guess Sara and Taimur are feisty. Taimur is a lot like Saif as well. Kabhi kabhi thoda twist ho jaata hai dimaag!




Do you have any advice for Sara?
This generation doesn’t need any advice. They’re well trained and super actors. Sara’s extremely bright. She’s c
Does it bother you that the paparazzi is always after Taimur?
He’s a child. He has no idea what’s going on. So we try to explain why they’re taking his pictures. Our job is to, as much as possible, give him a normal environment to grow up in. That’s why we run off for holidays. Where he can run, walk, go fishing… things he wouldn’t be able to do here. Our aim is to make him eventually understand, ‘Don’t take this too seriously because actually you’re a nobody. You’re just our son’.

How much are you like your mom and how much like your father,Randhir Kapoor?
I’m a lot like my mother. Mom is also fiercely independent. She’s strong-headed and also emotional at the same time. Hitler and she were born on the same day. So when we fight I tell her, ‘You’re so adamant.’ We’re (Karisma and she) nothing without our mother. She has given us everything. My approach to life is through her eyes. But I’m a lot like my dad as well. His sense of humour, his zest for life, his energy… he’s an amazing human being. I connect with him on another level. He never says no for anything. His company is so much fun. That’s the kind of person I’d always want to be.

Is Karisma also like you as a mother?
No. Lolo is a helicopter mother. I’m much more relaxed even though I’m a first-time mom. Lolo’s hyper and paranoid. But she’s such a nice human being that no one can tell her anything. Being a single mother is difficult. So her approach is different. I fire her a lot. We try to ease her out.

Your uncle, Rishi Kapoor passed away recently. Your thoughts…
It’s been a terrible tragedy. Like me Chintu uncle was a Virgo. He too believed in saying things as they were. If he loved your performance, he’d tell you so. If he hated your performance, he’d say he didn’t like it. Saif misses him a lot more because he connected with him on another level. They believed they were similar actors. Unfortunately,
I never had the opportunity to work with him.


Being part of an ageist industry, did it bother you when you turned 40?
You’re as old as you look. Simple as that. Not that I want to look sweet 16. I’m proud to be 40. I’m proud to have worked for 20 years. With God’s grace, I will continue working for the next 20 years and proudly so at 50 or 60.

Your mother-in-law (Sharmila Tagore) has been here for 65 odd years...
She’s iconic and an inspiration. Today with the OTT platforms and the different kinds of films being made, there’s place for everyone out here. Age is no barrier.

What advice would you give other 40-year old women?
I’m excited to get into the 40s. You’re more content with yourself. You’ve already done the wrongs, the rights… You’ve tried everything in life. Now, you start looking within. You feel like doing things for yourself also. Whether it’s travel, whether it’s reading a book. Just doing things that you couldn’t do earlier because of the rush you were in.

What about venturing on the OTT platform?
Shows like Sacred Games, Delhi Crime and Paatal Lok, Made In Heaven… excite me as an actor. But they also make me extremely scared. The actors on the OTT platforms are on an international level as compared to our big screen actors. Shefali Shah was outstanding in Delhi Crime. She’s a brilliant actor anyway. Even Paatal Lok… So, I’m both nervous and excited to dabble in it now. Honestly, I believe there’s no difference between both the mediums. Saif has watched Paatal Lok twice already. He says it’s a learning experience. It’s the content that makes the experience memorable rather than the big screen.

Any plans to have a second baby?
It’s all up to God and destiny. There’s no planning as such. I never planned the first one.
I’m not going to plan my life ahead either. Right now, we just have to have faith and keep the positivity going.